“To love somebody is not just a strong feeling- it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go.”
This article pretty much ruined every childhood fairy tale I have ever read. Hooks uses reality to show the reader that there is such a thing as “real love” but that we have been mistaking or “romantic relationships” for “real love”. She says we change ourselves to fit into the mold that someone may love instead of finding someone who can love us for our flaws and all. Reading this essay I was reminded of a poem that I read in my freshman English class, “Love Poem” by John Frederick Nims. For anyone who hasn’t read this poem, it is about a man naming off all of the bad qualities in his significant other but yet he finds them as a part of her charm. After reading this essay, I believe that being in love means being yourself with another person. When you are free from the restraints of acting “how you are supposed to act” or “acting how you think he wants you to act” you can fully be in love. Not fall in love but be in love.
“Perfect passions usually end when we awaken from our enchantment and find only that we have been carried away from ourselves.”
In this essay Hooks uses everyday relationships that the reader has most likely been involved in and shows a different view point on why it didn’t last. I believe you can be completely passionate and even be under the assumption that you are falling in love with someone when you are really just under their spell or blinded by the passion. I also believe that you can have an intense and passionate sexual connection with someone and not be in love. We mistake pleasure and lust for love. Although these passionate and pleasure-filled relationships are fun, they aren’t the real deal. However until we each get our Prince Charming, its okay to have a little fun.