Intro to Women's Studies 2010

etsu: 2011-2014

The Virginity Question

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I think virginity is a very touchy subject today. For me, I still don’t even understand the true meaning of virginity. I believe that the meaning of virginity will be different if depending on who you talk to. I have asked my close friends and family what virginity means to them, and most I have received the response that virginity is what you have before you participate in vaginal intercourse. With this I respond, but what if you are raped, and usually they were stumped after that. As Jessica Valenti states, “But of virginity is simply the first time someone has sex, then what is sex?” What do we count as sex? Does oral, anal, homosexual, and heterosexual sex all count? My question is “why does virginity matter today?” Does it really matter if a woman decides to have sex out of wed lock? Why do we as a society care if our female friends are having sexual relationships out of marriage? Why is it okay for men to have sex before marriage? It is almost expected that men will have sex at a young age, long before they are married. If a woman has multiple sex partners she is called a whore or a slut, but if she remains a virgin till she is married she is usually seen as sexually inexperienced. Even women call other women slut and whores for having sex out of wed lock. As said in my favorite movie Mean Girls, “You have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.” We as women need to stick together, and not judge other’s relationship. I think that a women’s virginity is her own private business, and I wish we could move past caring about other people’s sexual relationships, and focus on our own.  No one has the right to judge another person’s relationship or call them names.


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