Intro to Women's Studies 2010

etsu: 2011-2014

To give it away or to keep it?

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In class we talked about virginity and how it is viewed differently in our society depending on your gender. Another comparison that was brought up was the number of sexual partners a man should have verses the number a woman should have. Based on what we talked about and the video we watched in class men should lose their virginity’s at a younger age then women, and that they should have higher numbers of sexual partners compared to women as well. Women on the other hand should be older when they lose their virginity’s and should have as few sexual partners as possible. This unfair and the reasoning behind it makes absolutely no sense. I’ve grown uo my entire life thinking this is how women and men are supposed to play their roles in society. But throughout the years i have learned and accepted that everyone is different and should live their lives the way they feel most comfortable.

If women choose to follow the social role of waiting and not having a “high” number of sexual partner they fall into a category of being a tease or playing hard to get. But if women give in too easily they are perceived in a negative way, or if they have slept with a certain number of guys they will be seen as undesirable. If women wait too long to lose their virginity, as many women did in the video we watched in class, people feel as if something is wrong with these women.

In our society it is also difficult for men too. If men choose to wait they are seen as less manly than a man who has lost his virginity. There is no limit on the number of sexual partners a man can have the higher the number the more highly they are looked upon by their male peers. But to some men this is not the way they want to be perceived. Some men may want to choose to wait to loose their virginity to someone they care about. But because this is how our society feels that this is how women should feel it is looked down upon for a man to have these feelings. This goes into a much deeper issue which we have also discussed in class about the stereotypical man and woman.

I for one do not understand why men and women cannot choose the way they live their sexual lives in the way they want without fear of being judged. There should be no limit one the number of sexual partners a man or woman should be able to have. There should also be no beginning or ending age for men or women to lose their virginity’s. Men and women should also be able to express their reasons for waiting or not choosing to wait freely without ridicule. Like many things in our lives we should not let our choices be controlled by what society thinks is appropriate in aspects of our lives that ultimately only affect us.


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